Rants & Such On The Sheedy Matrix
Sunday, April 24, 2005
OK OK what is it with censorship its friggin out of hand. I was watching TBS at about 8-9ish on a Sunday night and on comes The Patriot. Admittedly, its not the absolute best in the historical accuracy department but a its a damn fine piece of cinema anyhow. I'm a sucker for a film that has that much flinty action. This however is not the reason for this little narrative. There is a scene in which Mel Gibson's character hacks a red coat up with a tomahawk. Now the censorship I expected was for the frame of the shot to be screwed up so that you couldn't see the blows actually landing. This is bad enough, but the mud-brick ziggurat the broke the camel's everything was that they color shifted the image to turn the blood he had on his face and shirt to mud... before he went into the water the smaller amount of blood was blood, after the hacking episode... mud... it happened later too in the final battle, blood during, mud after. Now besides the obvious insult to my intelligence, the fact that they took the horror of 18th century combat and made it into a mud wrestling match makes ME M- M- MAAAD. If they change a book they have to put abridged to let you know its crap beforehand. Not so with a film. A film the art of hundreds of people can be hacked into shreds and passed off as the same thing. Earlier I saw that AMC was running a special in conjunction with ABC News (when you see the word "News" you know you're in for a crock) about censorship. Apparently AMC sees a problem with... well we'll let them say that here is their write up for this show:

"Bleep! Censoring Hollywood, produced by ABC News Productions, reveals how a controversial movement is rocking the boardrooms at Hollywood studios, the Directors Guild, and home entertainment companies. In today's DVD/home video marketplace, several small businesses are buying copies of Hollywood's most popular movies to edit out sex, violence, and foul language. Once "cleansed," they are sold again as so-called "family friendly" versions -- without the consent of the films' directors or film studios. A cut here, an edit there -- it's driving Hollywood crazy. The self-appointed movie sanitizers are gaining an increasingly mainstream following among parents who want peace of mind and more control over what their kids watch. The documentary profiles major players in the "film sanitizing" business, such as CleanFlicks and ClearPlay, explores the broader debate of censorship vs. artistic freedom in the digital age as well as addresses the motives and passions of various political and entertainment advocates in this ongoing debate."--amctv.com

Well well looks like someone agrees with me eh, dear reader... WRONG! AMC is one of the worst butchers. They hacked Blazing Saddles to bloody ribbons even going so far as to cut out most of the fart scene. Daft humor I agree but still PART OF THE FREAKIN FILM. A scene important enough to the writers, the director, and cast who acted in it for the expense to include it in the film. Does the FCC think we need to be protected from fart jokes... Well here is something for the networks and the FCC to censor: FUCK OFF! We'll see if that turns to "FORGET YOU!" when I post it... Here is a clue folks if you have to cut a film up to show it on TV... DON'T! JUST FUGGIN' DON'T! "But omnipotent one", you say, "think of the kiddies". FUG THAT here is something to think of... parenting. Try that one on for size. But that is a different rant. Ugh... I gotta go watch the unrated version of something... Viva le Internet!

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