Rants & Such On The Sheedy Matrix
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
OK I'm calmer now... finally... but calmer doesn't necessarily mean I'm not still really miffed. What else would you expect from me? Here's the deal: G4 is sub-par, always has been sub-par, and always will be sub-par. For the purposes of mathematical comparison we will assign G4 with a value of -5. TechTV on the other hand (rerun frequency aside) was awesome and always has been awesome. We shall assign TechTV the value 9. Therefore any daft git can see that 9+-5=CRAP! There is far more of the G4 crap on G4TechTV than the good TechTV stuff. Canceling Call For Help... nice move assholes! One of the incoherent babblings on the message boards read, "But aren't CFH and TSS kinda the same show? I've never watched them but by the description they seemed to be basically the same." ... I don't know where to begin quite frankly... I guess I'll start with an intellectual response... YOU'RE A FAWLKING MORON! SON OF A BITCH! I HATE THE HUMAN RACE THAT SPAWNED SUCH A LOWLY SPECIMEN! YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A PILE OF FILTH SKIMMED FROM THE SCUMMY RANCID SURFACE OF THE GENE POOL! IT SHOULD BE LAW THAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU BE STERILIZED SO THAT THEY CANNOT PROCREATE!... OK now that that's out of the way lets disect this statement rationally and attempt to make a generalization of the average mentality of the G4 viewer. Point one: The statement, "TSS and CFH are the same show" is grounded solidly in fallacy. The more astute of you may point out (rather rudely), "But... it wasn't a statement dear author, it was a question." At first glance yes it does end in a "?" and start with a query marker word. This is the sort of question that one asks in leu of making a statement, the type of question that supposed know-it-alls ask when they just want their "truth" to be agreed to. Isn't that right? So they have the grand but wildly false opinion based on never watching the show... Congrats... therefore I am forced to conclude that said person is of a rather low mentality. The really aggravating thing is that G4 is all about gaming. An entire network devoted to only gaming. XPlay, however, performs the function of the entire network of G4 to a higher level than all of their shows ever could hope to achieve. "How? Why?" you ask? Well, lets look at the programming models:
G4's programming model:
-Get beautiful people and muscle bound steroid burnouts (ie. popular AE, Tommy Hilfiger, Old Navy drones) to read cue cards and teleprompter about stuff they've never done and care very little about.
TechTV's programming model:
-Get people who know the material and play games in their spare time. Some of whom happen to be quite attractive, but that's not a requirement. Knowlege is (attractiveness is a perk [Luv ya Morgan, Swish, TSS Babe Corral]).
-Showcase as many aspects of technology as can be effectively (and sometimes ineffectively) done within the restrictions of the medium.
G4 employs talking heads while TechTV has substance. Its as clear as day. The message boards show it there are very few posts reading, "TechTV sux!", while the net simply overflows with, "G4 sux!" G4 however was not content to simply ruin the network, oh no, they also felt the need to destroy the website. TechTV's site while it had flaws (ie. search engine) was easy to navigate and extremely informative. G4 has destroyed this harmonious balance buy burying all the useful tech info and indeed relevant gaming news amidst endless frames tables and advertisements. I used to check TechTV.com every day to get the latest tech news and virus threats in one easy go. Now I'm forced to check several message boards and assorted web news agencies simply to replace that daily summation. G4 with their idiotic fiddlings with the hosting of TSS and the cancellation of CFH have reduced my viewership of TechTV from 90% of my TV viewing to 0%. I haven't watched G4TechTV since the 3rd or 4th day of it's existence. I cannot stand the travesty that my favorite network has been reduced to. G4 has ripped the soul from TechTV and It makes me furious. The only show worth a damn on G4 is Arena. I have no doubt, however, that if TechTV had done the show it would actually meet up to it's potential. TechTV was for geeks by geeks. G4 is more like pop-culture slaves privately mocking geeks. GAH! I need a breather before I burn down an Old Navy...
If your interested in an illustrated version of this rant check out the comic strip USER FRIENDLY by J.D. "Illiad" Frazer for these dates:
June 15th, 2004
June 16th, 2004
June 17th, 2004
June 18th, 2004
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Do you folks (my huge and highly educated audience) want to know what I hate most about blog sites? Of course you do! Otherwise you wouldn't be readers of this, MY blog site. What I hate most about blog sites is their tendencies to lag behind, to be abandoned, to promise posts and then not deliver, to interrupt your the reader's intellectual stimulation regimen. Posts like "Coming soon I'll talk about this" and then lo and behold the aforementioned post (eagerly awaited I'm sure) never materializes. I know what you are all thinking right now:
"Begging sir's pardon your most noble, most highly honored authorness.", you say "Did not your last post fit this description?"
"WHAT OUTRAGEOUS INSOLENCE!!!", say I, "I mean... YOU'RE BANISHED FROM THE SITE!! No... wait... you're perfectly correct of course... if a bit rude."
I apologize for what you have pointed out and I shall endeavor in future to make my supposed "errors" less obvious... or be nonexistent... er something... Anywho, I've lost the prose for now and am typing mindless gerbils or gerbless mindbils... Farewell dear dear (if a bit rude) readers till next we meet on southbound exit 42 off the information superhighway... I need a 'dew...